One finger grip on Day7

For the last several days (week+!!) I have realized a few things. I end every day thinking tomorrow will be different. With these words, I'm referring to what I eat and how I feel when I'm thinking these words. The hard part is, I don't eat bad. I very rarely eat out, and when I do I try to make smart choices (unless I simply can't go on without a double cheese burger from Burger King). During the work week, I don't stray from my home prepared lunch. Every morning I have a raisin cinnamon english muffin; for lunch I eat fresh fruits, a veggie, and protein; and I snack healthy-- dry Cheerios, roasted almonds. I admit that when I'm at home, I have a tendency to overeat, or make unhealthy choices. I truly suck at portion control, and I can't resist finishing off Drummer Boy's animal cracker snack. In the evenings I feel bloated, exhausted, frustrated with myself and so it's easy to think tomorrow will be different.

See this picture? I hate it. I want to be these girls. I want their bodies, their strength-- hell I even want to be at that beach! I found this picture in a Women's Health magazine while killing some time before an appointment this morning. And now I can't stop thinking about this perfect image of beauty, strength, and health!

Yesterday I read this blog post: The Anatomy of Self-loathing  I really love the "When did this.. become hotter than this?' pictures. But what I don't understand, is how I can look at that picture and agree that the more curvy women are MUCH more attractive; yet, I can't be happy with my own body-- like I want to be one of those sickly skinny bitches. ?!

I don't know what I need to do differently tomorrow. I eat healthy-- I don't stray from my home prepared lunches and for the last week, I have managed to get out every day during lunch for nice hour long walk. Eating healthy and walking every day shouldn't leave me feeling so crappy (for lack of a better adjective) in the evenings. What gives? Is it psychological??

anyone seen my wagon?

I fell off of it several days ago and haven't seen it since. :(

Day 7, 2/3 complete.

So not 100% complete, but close. The main challenge is that Mr. Fix It doesn't get home until 5:30-6 pm. Comes through the door, ready to sit down and eat. So I spend my afternoon getting Drummer Boy's dinner cooked and fed to him; and dinner prepared for me and Mr. Fix It. So the question becomes, WHEN to Shred?? I don't want to Shred after dinner, but I can't find time before dinner without the help of Mr. Fix It..and who has the patience to entertain a toddler on an empty stomach? Yesterday I attempted to Shred while Drummer Boy ate his dinner. I got about half way through before Drummer Boy was done eating, crying, and trying to free himself of his high chair. Fail.

Not sure how to fix this. If the fitness facilities at my work were operational, this would be a no-brainer. Shred at lunch. But they won't be open until March so until then, I need a plan B.

Day 7, incomplete.

Sigh, yes, you read that right. INcomplete, as in, I didn't do Day 7. For no good reason either. I've been trying to convince myself all day that the reason I didn't Shred yesterday was because I had to leave work early to take Drummer Boy to the doctor and when I got home, I was too busy caring for a sick toddler to spend 20 mins caring for myself. Let me say, I remain unconvinced.

On a positive note, getting dressed this morning, I sensed a slight reduction in overall muffin-topness. Could it be that only after 6 days of Shred, I *sense* results??? I haven't stepped onto the scale or re-taken any measurements since Day 1 and I don't plan to right now. I don't want anything to challenge my 6th sense. It's enough motivation to get back on the horse tonight!

Day 5 and 6, complete.

Yes. I completed Day 5 and 6. It was a rough weekend with Drummer Boy so I wasn't able to post this accomplishment until now.

Friday's workout was good, but I was bored throughout the whole thing. Thing is, while it was still challenging, I was still winded, I was just having a hard time finding the will to complete it. I chalked it up to me having a case of the Friday's.

On Saturday I made the mistake of doing a Level 2 workout, since I was so bored during Friday's Shred and because I planned to 'rest' on Sunday and reap my rewards for accomplishing a whole week of shredding. Clearly I am not ready for Level 2. The exercises are very heavy on the knees and some of the moves I simply can not do without pain-- the kind of pain your body echos when it's warning you of injury. After the first 2 circuits, I quit, and stretched while Jillian Michaels and her posse completed the third set. On Sunday I rested and rewarded my week's worth of effort with waffles for breakfast, a bacon/swiss burger for lunch, and taco soup for dinner. All of which were homemade with all natural ingredients so I don't feel I over indulged too much.

I have to say though, I'm feeling a little discouraged. Like I'm teetering off the wagon. I'm not sure how I'm going to muster the motivation to do a Shred workout today.

Day 4 complete.

Yesterday I completed Day 4. It was a bit tricky because Mr. Fix It didn't get home from work until about 4:30-- so I had to wait for him to come home before I could do it. There is NO WAY to Shred with a Toddler. :) It was actually a glimpse into what next week holds in store. Mr. Fix It won't be getting home until about 5:30 so hopefully by then the kid will be fed, our dinner will be made, so I'll only be waiting on him to come home so I can get my workout in, then we can eat and get on with our evening routine.

Anyways, I was pretty bored with the workout yesterday. But I made it though and I think I actually completed more push ups than usual-- a sign of getting stronger already?? Even on day 4?? Maybe. I'm hardly sore today too. Originally I was thinking I would do 5 days on and 1 day off, but now I'm convinced I'll workout Monday through Saturday and take Sunday's off. And I'm even considering trying out workout Level 2 on Saturday since I'm taking Sunday off.

I didn't get a walk in yesterday but I'm hoping to get one in today. Dinner last night was kind of a mess as well. I was trying to rid our fridge of leftovers so we had a combo of leftover chicken/veggies/rice with a side of swedish meatballs. Neither very healthy and both high in calories so I'm positive I busted yesterday's caloric goal. I'm on track today though with the exception of lacking a plan for tonight's dinner. :/

Day 3, complete.

I'll be honest. When I came home today, the LAST thing I wanted to do was Shred. I'm very sore from the last few days-- my arms, chest, thighs, and stomach-- yeah, they all hurt. Not to mention it is FREEZING outside! Weather that only promotes coming home, slipping into sweats, and snuggling on the couch with the family. But the skinny girl inside me protested those thoughts: "it's only 20 mins! Just do it and THEN put the sweats on and snuggle!". I listened to her and I'm glad I did! I felt great after the workout today and again, I was surprised at how well I kept up (and how few rest breaks I took) considering how sore I am. When I consider the fact that it's only Day 3, it's easy to feel discouraged.. but I quickly remind myself to take one day at a time. I can do this.

I rewarded my workout today with a hot cup of apple cider. It has a magical way of satisfying those sweet tooth cravings that creep up after dinner.