One finger grip on Day7

For the last several days (week+!!) I have realized a few things. I end every day thinking tomorrow will be different. With these words, I'm referring to what I eat and how I feel when I'm thinking these words. The hard part is, I don't eat bad. I very rarely eat out, and when I do I try to make smart choices (unless I simply can't go on without a double cheese burger from Burger King). During the work week, I don't stray from my home prepared lunch. Every morning I have a raisin cinnamon english muffin; for lunch I eat fresh fruits, a veggie, and protein; and I snack healthy-- dry Cheerios, roasted almonds. I admit that when I'm at home, I have a tendency to overeat, or make unhealthy choices. I truly suck at portion control, and I can't resist finishing off Drummer Boy's animal cracker snack. In the evenings I feel bloated, exhausted, frustrated with myself and so it's easy to think tomorrow will be different.

See this picture? I hate it. I want to be these girls. I want their bodies, their strength-- hell I even want to be at that beach! I found this picture in a Women's Health magazine while killing some time before an appointment this morning. And now I can't stop thinking about this perfect image of beauty, strength, and health!

Yesterday I read this blog post: The Anatomy of Self-loathing  I really love the "When did this.. become hotter than this?' pictures. But what I don't understand, is how I can look at that picture and agree that the more curvy women are MUCH more attractive; yet, I can't be happy with my own body-- like I want to be one of those sickly skinny bitches. ?!

I don't know what I need to do differently tomorrow. I eat healthy-- I don't stray from my home prepared lunches and for the last week, I have managed to get out every day during lunch for nice hour long walk. Eating healthy and walking every day shouldn't leave me feeling so crappy (for lack of a better adjective) in the evenings. What gives? Is it psychological??